Puns about turtles

Dec 16, 2023 · From shell-arious one-liners to puns that’ll leave you feeling shell-ighted, these turtle-inspired jokes are bound to turtle-y flip your mood to a brighter tide!

Two fictional heroes meet on a bridge in an alternate dimension from their own. One is a wise wizard used to leading wee folk on epic, continent-spanning journeys to save the world, the other is a plumber that has been stuck in a loop saving the same princess for decades. What does the wise wizard say to the plumber?4 "You've Got A Rage Problem Raph." All the ninja turtles have their own distinct personalities; Michaelangelo is the wisecracking jokester, Donatello is the brains of any mission, Leonardo is the altruistic leader, and Raphael is the serious-minded one. This is one of the funniest Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles: Mutant Mayhem quotes because of ...Here are 45 funny ninja jokes and the best ninja puns to crack you up. These jokes about ninjas are great jokes for kids and adults. Here is our top list of ninja dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about ninjas, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this ninja humor with others. Jump to: Ninja puns; Ninja one liners; Best ninja jokes; Final thoughts These turtle jokes are perfect for breaking the ice at a party or lightening the mood on a rainy day. Get ready to laugh your way through some tortoise-inspired humor! Best Turtle Jokes. Here’s five jokes about Turtle: 1. Why did the turtle cross the road? To shell-ebrate reaching the other side! 2. What do you call a turtle that loves to bake? Let’s add the funny turtle jokes and turtle puns to why they love turtles. These jokes and puns will make you and the kids feel shell-arious. For more joke fun, …Let’s save the little turtles. Don’t buy turtle shells. Don’t fall for illegal pet trade. Let’s get together and stop turtle slaughter! Sea turtles – friend not food. Slow to run but fast to run out! Save the turtles. If you find a turtle in the net while fishing, put it in the water again without missing.Read More: Jokes About Tortoise. Hilarious Sea Turtle Jokes. Why did the sea turtle bring a backpack to the beach? Because it wanted to have a “shell-filling” day! What do you call a sea turtle’s favorite TV show? “The Shellor”! Why did the sea turtle become a lifeguard? Because it knew how to “sea-ve” lives in style!55 Funny Turtle Puns. By Che Lewis January 31, 2023. Here are 55 funny turtle jokes and the best turtle puns to crack you up. These jokes about turtles are great turtle jokes for kids and adults. Here is our top list of turtle dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about turtles, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this turtle humor with others.

Clean turtle jokes for kids. 9.) What do turtles do on their birthday? They have a shell-ebration. 10.) What kind of turtles are the easiest to find? “See” turtles. 11.) Where do turtles keep their money? In the riverbank. 12.) What do turtles use for money? Sand dollars. 13.) What did the turtle say when the frog jumped out from behind a bush?To do list 1. Buy a turtle 2. Name it ‘The speed of light’ 3. Be able to honestly say I can run faster than the speed of light. ( Track and Field Jokes) Where does a turtle go during a blizzard?…. A shell-ter. ( Blizzard Jokes) I’m looking for a book about turtles…. I think it is a hard back.And the turtles, of course all the turtles are free, as turtles and, maybe, all creatures should be. Dr. Seuss. 2. Copy. Oh, a very useful philosophical animal, your average tortoise. Outrunning metaphorical arrows, beating hares in races... very handy. Terry Pratchett. 2. Copy. All the thoughts of a turtle are turtle.Dec 17, 2016 ... (Free puns with every tattoo!) Have a good weekend, guys! -McK. Instagram: @tattoopeasinapod.says the beaver. "Indeed" says the elephant, "turtle recall". A turtle is minding his own business walking down the road when he is mugged by two snails. He is absolutely shell-shocked. When the police arrive and ask him what happened, the turtle replies "I don't know sir, it all happened so quickly". My auntie was killed by a stampede of turtles. 8. People say my turtle puns are a bit slow, but I like to think they have a shell of a punchline! 9. I bought a book of turtle puns, but I can’t seem to get past the turtle neck jokes! 10. Every time I try to come up with a new turtle pun, I feel like I’m turt-ally lost in thought! 11.

Hisako. Some species of turtles have long life spans. In fact, the oldest known living land animal is a giant tortoise named Jonathan, who was born in 1832. For a female turtle, consider the Japanese name Hisako, which means “longevity.”.I replied “yep with small heads”. A turtle is mugged by two snails as he walks down the road. He is absolutely shell-shocked. Upon being asked by the police what happened, the turtle replies, “I don’t know, it all happened so fast”. A turtle strolls into a restaurant for a light lunch and orders soup.55 Funny Turtle Puns. By Che Lewis January 31, 2023. Here are 55 funny turtle jokes and the best turtle puns to crack you up. These jokes about turtles are great turtle jokes for kids and adults. Here is our top list of turtle dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about turtles, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this turtle humor with others.7. Some turtles are carnivores (meat eaters), others are herbivores (plant eaters) and some are omnivores (a mixture of the two!). Many baby turtles start life as carnivores but grow to eat more plants as they mature. 8. Turtles are ‘amniotes’ – they breathe air and lay their eggs on land, although many species live in or around water. 9. These cold-blooded …

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The Beginnings of Bonsai: Bonsai History - Bonsai history is extensive and varied. Learn where bonsai originated, where it ended up and how it became a popular form of gardening. A...🐢 Welcome to the shell-shocking world of turtle puns, where every flippered friend has a tale as slow as a Monday morning traffic jam! 🚗💨 Brace yourself for a tidal wave of laughter and witty wordplay, as we embark on a journey through the shell-arious universe of turtle humor. 🌐Turtle puns are a delightful way to infuse humor into everyday conversations. These clever wordplays revolve around the slow and steady nature of turtles, often making light of their pace, protective shells, and various attributes. In this blog post, we’ll explore the art of turtle puns, how to use them, and even provide you with an extensive ...These turtle jokes are perfect for breaking the ice at a party or lightening the mood on a rainy day. Get ready to laugh your way through some tortoise-inspired humor! Best Turtle Jokes. Here’s five jokes about Turtle: 1. Why did the turtle cross the road? To shell-ebrate reaching the other side!Conclusion. We hope you enjoyed our collection of funny turtle jokes! If you have any other great jokes that your kids would enjoy, please share them with us in the comments below! Here are some funny turtle jokes your kids will love. If you're looking for a laugh, these jokes are sure to provide it.

8 days ago ... Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles #dadjokes #puns #tmnt #streetpizza. No views · 5 minutes ago ...more. Rueben Black. 8. Subscribe.Apr 10, 2024 · Pace Yourself: Shell-shocking Tortoise Puns (Pun Juxtaposition) 1. I went to a slow food restaurant because I’m a tortoise pun-der. 2. The tortoise tried to race against the hare but was shell-shocked. 3. The tortoise went on a diet but couldn’t resist a slow-cooked meal. 4. The tortoise tried to join a track team but was outrun by ... Jul 1, 2023 · Turtle Puns. If you think these turtle puns are shell-arious you’ll probably like some more puns. Bee puns and dog puns are covered. I’m in turtle awe of her talent. You sturtled me! My friend and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday. It tortoise nothing. You’re shell-arious. Wear your shell-met! Superman is bored. He decides to fly around and see what his super hero friends are doing. He flies to the bat cave. He sees Batman and Robin fixing the bat mobile. He says "That looks boring", and flies away. He flies to the ocean. He sees Aquaman talking to sea turtles. He says, " ... A big list of sea turtle jokes, submitted and ranked by users.April 30, 2024. Clarkson, who began the weight loss back-and-forth after complimenting her guest on her looks, said she was previously unaware of her own …Feb 23, 2024 · Shell-ebrate turtle humor with 100+ puns that'll shell-shock you! Dive into a world of wordplay as these slow and steady reptiles unleash their shellebrity wit. Get ready for a turtley hilarious adventure! Superman is bored. He decides to fly around and see what his super hero friends are doing. He flies to the bat cave. He sees Batman and Robin fixing the bat mobile. He says "That looks boring", and flies away. He flies to the ocean. He sees Aquaman talking to sea turtles. He says, " ... A big list of sea turtle jokes, submitted and ranked by users.Moose puns include plays on movie themes such as “the hills are alive with the sound of mooseic” or popular sayings such as “you’re going to moose me when I’m gone.” They can be fo...165+ Funny Tortoise Puns to Tickle Your Funny Bone!”. February 29, 2024 by Rashmi Panchal. Slow down and enjoy the laughter with our hare-larious collection of tortoise puns! 🐢😂 Get ready to shell out smiles as you embark on a chuckle-filled journey through the world of these charming, slow-moving creatures.

0. Spread the love. Turtles are one of the most unique and lovable creatures in the world. They are slow-moving and have a hard outer shell to protect them from danger. Turtles have been a part of children’s books, cartoons, and movies for many years, and kids have grown fond of these cute animals.

Slither into Laughter with Reptile Puns (Puns on Reptiles) 1. Don’t be a snake in the grass, be a snake in the sun! 2. He’s a real charmer, he could snake his way out of anything. 3. Iguana go to the beach this weekend. 4. He’s got a lizard tongue, he can talk his way out of anything.These TNMT riddles, one-liners, puns, and knock-knock jokes are for parents, teachers, Ninja Turtle fans, Anime fans, Karate and Martial Arts fans, children and adults interested in Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles jokes are especially fun for TMNT parties, birthday parties and Halloween (lots of people dress up in ...Below are some hiss-terically memorable reptile puns used in movies: “I have had it with these smothering snakes on this smothering plane!”. – Samuel L. Jackson, Snakes on a Plane. “You haven’t seen the last of me! I’ll be back, and you’re gonna be snake food!”. – Dr. Jacques von Hämsterviel, Lilo & Stitch 2: Stitch Has A Glitch.9.) Anytime you see a turtle up on top of a fence post, you know he had some help. Alex Haley. 10.) We’re lean, we’re green, and we’re mean! Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Life – turtle quotes. 11.) Take a walk with a turtle. And behold the world in pause. Bruce Feiler. 12.) Try to be like the turtle at ease in your own shell. Bill CopelandAug 6, 2021 · John: “About one mile per hour.”. Timmy the Turtle climbed up the tree and jumped off the branch. He waved his arms and legs are hard as he could, but Timmy hit the deck and began to bleed. He then climbed the tree again. Mommy bird turned to Daddy bird and said, “Honey, I think it’s time we told Timmy that he’s adopted.”. Oct 1, 2023 · Best Turtle jokes. Here are some Best Turtle Jokes. 51. What did the turtle say to its reflection? “I’m turtley awesome!” 52. Why don’t turtles like fast food? Because they prefer “slow” food! 53. What do you get when you cross a turtle with a giraffe? A turtle that reaches the treetops! 54. Why did the turtle start a fashion line? Here are 60 Turtle Jokes and the Best Turtle Puns for Kids and Adults. Here is our top list of Turtle Dad Jokes . Find your favorite puns about Turtle and then share them with your friends and family to make fun.Hilarious Turtle Puns to Shell Shock Your Friends. I’m feeling a bit shell-terious today! That’s turtley the best thing I’ve heard all day. Slow down, you’re making my head spin in its shell! Let’s come out of our shells and have some fun. That joke was turtle-y hilarious! I’ve got a reptile dysfunction, I can’t come out of my shell!Let’s save the little turtles. Don’t buy turtle shells. Don’t fall for illegal pet trade. Let’s get together and stop turtle slaughter! Sea turtles – friend not food. Slow to run but fast to run out! Save the turtles. If you find a turtle in the net while fishing, put it in the water again without missing.Police believe he tried to top himself. I burnt the caramel custard that I was making. It was time for flan B. I had my front door replaced with a door entirely made out of chocolate with a ganache handle and caramel accents. Don't knock it until you've tried it. If sugar daddy gets hard, he becomes a caramel daddy.

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Superman is bored. He decides to fly around and see what his super hero friends are doing. He flies to the bat cave. He sees Batman and Robin fixing the bat mobile. He says "That looks boring", and flies away. He flies to the ocean. He sees Aquaman talking to sea turtles. He says, " ... A big list of sea turtle jokes, submitted and ranked by users.90 Funny Turtle Jokes & Puns. There’s no denying that turtles are fascinating creatures. Their indestructible shells, beady little eyes, and feisty spirits can make up for interesting facts, but they can be pretty funny too. In fact, we’ve collected all the funniest turtle one-liners that are sure to amuse both kids and adults.Apple launched 20 new games Thursday on Apple Arcade including a new exclusive Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles title. Apple added 20 games to its subscription-based Apple Arcade servi... This entry is all about turtle puns! There are also a sprinkle of tortoise puns too, so be careful if you’re looking for specifically turtle-based puns (tortoise are completely land-based, turtles mostly live in or around water). As you’ll see, there are a lot of “shell”-based puns to be made, and also a few puns using the names of ... This entry is all about turtle puns! There are also a sprinkle of tortoise puns too, so be careful if you’re looking for specifically turtle-based puns (tortoise are completely land-based, turtles mostly live in or around water). As you’ll see, there are a lot of “shell”-based puns to be made, and also a few puns using the names of ... Cosmological redshift: sounds like the latest blockbuster coming to a theater near you, doesn't it? Find out what cosmological redshifts are all about. Advertisement To get a feel ...Introduction. Turtles, with their slow and steady demeanor, have captured the hearts and imaginations of people worldwide. These shelled creatures not only inspire awe with their longevity and resilience but also provide ample material for humorous banter. From puns about their leisurely pace to jokes about their protective shells, there’s a treasure trove …Turtle-neck : A “ turtle-neck ” is a high, close-fitting neck on a shirt. Can be used as a turtle pun with the right context. Sel* → Shell*: If a word starts with “sel” a shell pun can be made by switching it with “shell”. For example: shellection (selection), shellect (select), shelldom (seldom), shellfless (selfless), shellfish ...These clever wordplay jokes are sure to slither their way into your heart and leave you laughing. Below are a list of some good and some TERRIBLE turtle puns. You'll be shaking your head in no time! Best turtle puns. 1. It rained strongly today. I noticed a turtle searching for a shell-ter to rest in. 2. A turtle stole some merchandise from a shop.Turtle Prize. A hard drinker walks into local bar and sees three darts laying across the bartop. "Hey, bartender!" The drunk slurs. "Whas with th- these darts?" "Oh", the bartender says. "It's a new promotion we're running. Whoever gets three bullseye's in a row wins a prize." The drunk stands up, swaying ...Koh Tao, or the "Turtle Islands," are a collection of islands in Thailand known for snorkeling, diving, street food, and nightlife. Thailand is known for its vibrant culture and st...Turtles enjoy a good nap and will sleep underwater. The Chinese Softshell Turtle is a delicacy and is made into soup. In Hawaii, the Honu Turtle is considered good luck. Leatherback Sea Turtles are the world’s fastest reptile. The Fly River Turtle is also called the Pig-nosed turtle due to its snout-like nose. ….

In times of stress, just remember to “squeeze the day.”. 5. Stress is like a straightjacket for the mind. 6. For a stress-free day, take a “brake” and unwind. 7. When stressed, breathe in calmness and exhale the chaos. 8. Stress is like a ticking time bomb, it’s just a matter of when it will explode.19 and 20 got into a fight…. 21. My friend told me, “People who sell meat are disgusting!”. So I said, “Yeah, well people who sell fruits and vegetables are grocer!”. How can turtles take photos of themselves? Shell-fie sticks! What do you call a secret agent molecule? Bond… ionic bond.In addition to those fun facts, it’s easy to marvel over just how many turtle puns and jokes you can find crawling around the internet. If knee-slappers about animals like otters , penguins , kangaroos , and camels leave you in stitches, well, get ready for more but-gusting hilarity (and, sure, cheesiness ).Turtles belong to reptile class, have a large shell across their back, and are defined as cold-blooded animals. So, take a dip with the sea turtle and have fun with our turtle puns that include funny turtle sayings, turtle one-liners, ninja turtle jokes, sea turtle puns and much more. Don't be shell shocked; just have some laughter.A list of puns related to "Cabbage". A cabbage, a tomato, and a nose were having a race. The cabbage was ahead, the nose was running, and the tomato was trying to ketchup. At our restaurant, we make sure to buy our pickled cabbage from a variety of vendors. We've discovered the value of kraut sourcing.8. People say my turtle puns are a bit slow, but I like to think they have a shell of a punchline! 9. I bought a book of turtle puns, but I can’t seem to get past the turtle neck jokes! 10. Every time I try to come up with a new turtle pun, I feel like I’m turt-ally lost in …Shell-o there! Shell we have some tea and crumpets? Beak -a-boo! The beak of all animal puns … But first lemme take a shell-fie. Turtle puns are extra spe-shell! Don’t be shell …Dec 16, 2020 · I heard on the radio that a truck full of terrapins crashed into a truck full of tortoises. The police said it was a turtle disaster. I was at work today speaking with a few of my coworkers when we start talking about lunch. Two of my coworkers start talking about fast food restaurants they like going to when: Puns about turtles, Hisako. Some species of turtles have long life spans. In fact, the oldest known living land animal is a giant tortoise named Jonathan, who was born in 1832. For a female turtle, consider the Japanese name Hisako, which means “longevity.”., Turtle Jokes. Turtle jokes, riddles and puns for kids and adults of all ages. These clean turtle jokes are fun for anyone, but are especially popular with fans of turtle characters …, Turtle Prize. A hard drinker walks into local bar and sees three darts laying across the bartop. "Hey, bartender!" The drunk slurs. "Whas with th- these darts?" "Oh", the bartender says. "It's a new promotion we're running. Whoever gets three bullseye's in a row wins a prize." The drunk stands up, swaying ..., Rigor tortoise. What do you call a turtle that stays up all night? Noc-turtle. What do you call a startled turtle? Shell-shocked. A turtle is crossing the road when …, Jul 9, 2023 · In conclusion, turtle jokes are a fun way to appreciate the humorous side of these slow yet fascinating creatures. From puns and one-liners to knock-knock jokes and short stories, the world of turtle jokes offers something for everyone. So take a moment to enjoy the lighter side of life and share a laugh with others through these turtle-themed ... , APOLLO BEACH, Fla. (WFLA) — A Kemp’s ridley sea turtle named Sergeant is ready to return to the sea following a five-month rehabilitation at The Florida …, Best Turtle Puns and Jokes. What do you call a flying turtle? A shellicopter. My pet turtle died. I’m not upset, just shell-shocked. Where does a turtle go when it’s raining? A shell-ter. What do you call a famous turtle? A shell-ebrity. My friend and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday. It tortoise nothing., Best Turtle Puns. 1. At the end of year party, the turtle company threw a shell of a good party and invited everyone. 2. The holiday season is here with us and everyone is expected to come out of their shell to simply shell-ebrate. 3. Shell-fies are not just desired by humans, but turtles as well. In fact, theirs is iconic. 4., May 9, 2017 · Shell-shocked. My wife and I went to a turtle pun class yesterday. It tortoise nothing. A man goes to a costume party with nothing on but a naked woman on his back. “What the hell are you supposed to be?” the party host asked him angrily when he arrived. “I’m a snail,” the man replied. “What a load of rubbish!” shouted the host. , 90 Funny Turtle Jokes & Puns. There’s no denying that turtles are fascinating creatures. Their indestructible shells, beady little eyes, and feisty spirits can make up for interesting facts, but they can be pretty funny too. In fact, we’ve collected all the funniest turtle one-liners that are sure to amuse both kids and adults., His name is Mahabir Pun. This is his story. In Nepal’s Annapurna region a man has made an extraordinary vision come true. He has brought internet access to places that even today c..., 55 Funny Turtle Puns. By Che Lewis January 31, 2023. Here are 55 funny turtle jokes and the best turtle puns to crack you up. These jokes about turtles are great turtle jokes for kids and adults. Here is our top list of turtle dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about turtles, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this turtle humor with others., says the beaver. "Indeed" says the elephant, "turtle recall". A turtle is minding his own business walking down the road when he is mugged by two snails. He is absolutely shell-shocked. When the police arrive and ask him what happened, the turtle replies "I don't know sir, it all happened so quickly". My auntie was killed by a stampede of turtles. , In this scene, the Second Commoner continues his punny speech about soles and souls, teasing Marullus, who is trying to figure out the occupation of the Second Commoner., 129+ Best Turtle Puns That Will Make You Slow Down And Laugh! February 29, 2024 by Rashmi Panchal. Welcome to a delightful and pun-tastic journey into the slow-moving world of turtle puns! Prepare to chuckle, snicker, and maybe even flip out with laughter😂 as you shell-ebrate this turtle-ly awesome wordplay. Whether you’re a turtle ..., If you are ready for some toadly awesome turtle jokes you have come to the right place! These turtle jokes for kids are shelltastic! These are sure to make you laugh and not make you bury your head in the sand! We love jokes in our home. They are the perfect way to get the kids laughing and an even better way to get the kids in a good mood., 10. “Hide and seek and you’re the seeker, because you always can’t find your opponent”. 11. “The gaming expo was a virtual reality dream come true”. 12. “Always level up in the game of love”. 13. “Gaming is like a relationship, sometimes you …, 38. Why do turtles make great athletes? Because they have shell-deeming qualities! 39. What do you call a turtle who loves to sing opera? A tenor-turtle! 40. What's a turtle's favorite superhero? Shell-ctacular! 41. Why did the turtle go to a music festival? To shell-ebrate with his favorite bands! 42. What's a turtle's favorite mode of ..., 90 Funny Turtle Jokes & Puns. There’s no denying that turtles are fascinating creatures. Their indestructible shells, beady little eyes, and feisty spirits can make up for interesting facts, but they can be pretty funny too. In fact, we’ve collected all the funniest turtle one-liners that are sure to amuse both kids and adults., Tattoo One-Liner Jokes. 1. I got a tattoo of a dollar; now I can say I’m truly worth something. 2. My calendar tattoo is my permanent schedule. 3. I thought about getting a tattoo of a pencil, but I’m not sure it’ll draw much attention. 4. Got a tattoo of a light bulb, now I’m always feeling bright., Hisako. Some species of turtles have long life spans. In fact, the oldest known living land animal is a giant tortoise named Jonathan, who was born in 1832. For a female turtle, consider the Japanese name Hisako, which means “longevity.”., To get to the Shell station. He was running on empty! (Track Jokes for Kids) I was a turtle in my past life…. It’s slowly coming back to me. I used to have a teacher called Mrs Turtle…. Strange looking woman but she tortoise well. A turtle is crossing the road when he’s mugged by two snails., Additionally, the Gryphon and Mock Turtle have had lives that at least bear some resemblance to Alice’s. The description of sea school reminds Alice of her own education, even though the subjects studied there are puns on the type of studies Alice might have pursued in school. However, the Gryphon and Mock Turtle inevitably begin speaking ..., There are seven living species of sea turtles. These include Loggerheads, Leatherbacks, Kemp's ridleys, Olive ridleys, Hawksbills, Flatbacks, and Green turtles. The largest and fastest turtle on earth is the Leatherback sea turtle. They can weigh up to 1,000 pounds and they can swim up to 22 mph., Turtley Hilarious! (Editors Pick) 1. Why did the turtle become a chef? Because it heard soup …, Feb 29, 2024 · 129+ Best Turtle Puns That Will Make You Slow Down And Laugh! February 29, 2024 by Rashmi Panchal. Welcome to a delightful and pun-tastic journey into the slow-moving world of turtle puns! Prepare to chuckle, snicker, and maybe even flip out with laughter😂 as you shell-ebrate this turtle-ly awesome wordplay. Whether you’re a turtle ... , Are you in need of a good laugh? Look no further. In this article, we have compiled a collection of the best hilarious jokes that are guaranteed to tickle your funny bone. Whether ..., Shell-ebrate turtle humor with 100+ puns that'll shell-shock you! Dive into a world of wordplay as these slow and steady reptiles unleash their shellebrity wit. Get ready for a turtley hilarious adventure!, March 15, 2024 by Rais. Dive into the ocean of humor with our collection of over 100 turtle puns that promise to shell-shock you with laughter. These carefully curated puns are designed to bring a wave of joy and giggles to everyone from marine biologists to casual fans of these adorable reptiles. Get ready to experience humor that’s as ..., Here are 55 funny turtle jokes and the best turtle puns to crack you up. These jokes about turtles are great turtle jokes for kids and adults. Here is our top list of turtle dad jokes. Find your favorite puns about turtles, have a laugh, then share and enjoy this turtle humor with others. Jump to: Turtle puns; Turtle one liners; Best turtle jokes, A big, burly, 6’10” 283lb guy walks into a bar carrying a brown box... Everyone is staring quietly because of the sheer size of some random guy seemingly on a mission. He walks up to the counter and orders two shots of whiskey. After downing them both in succession, he reaches into the box and pulls out a huge snapping turtle, shows it to ..., “The Dark Shell Rises.” What do you call a turtle who’s become a secret agent? A shellin’ Bond. Why don’t turtles fight each other? Because they don’t want to …, A: You get shell shocked. Q: What do you call a turtle that shits a lot? A: a turdle. Q: What kind of jokes do sea turtles tell? A: Shell-arious ones! Q: What do you get if cross a Turtle with a Giraffe? A: A Turtle-Neck. Q: What does a turtle do during winter? A: Sit by the fire and worm himself up.